I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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