sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
