whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
