he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
