her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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