These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
