Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
