somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize