my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
