so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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