I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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