Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
