Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize