The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
