Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
