HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
