I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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