some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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