I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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