It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
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We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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