A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
