Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
