at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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