she smelled like a LAN party
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
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I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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