i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
