Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
