Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
