i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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