You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
