It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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