Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
