You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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