I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
