Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize