I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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