Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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