It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
