I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
