don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
