So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
