she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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