You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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