Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
