have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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