I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
