and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i've created a new STD.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize