Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
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Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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