yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
