Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
