We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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