You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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