Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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