Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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