oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my being single is dangerous.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
