I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
